


Breaking Dams

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Holidays, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-03
Updated: 2008-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-31 08:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "We always hold hands." Sam said.  "A reflex, I guess."





	Breaking Dams

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Sean let the hot water roll over his tired body. He dunked his head under, pushing his hands through his hair. It had been quite a long Saturday. He woke early, typical when he stayed in a strange place. Not wanting to wake Sam, he left the room in search of coffee. He found it, along with President Bartlet and White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry. Sean apologized for interrupting. Both men waved it away, inviting him to join them at the kitchen table.

“Don’t tell our wives we’re smoking.” Leo said. “Especially mine.”

“Yes sir.”

“He’s sir.” Leo pointed at the President. “I'm Leo.”

“Alright.”

“Are you petrified, Sean?” the President asked.

“Petrified is a strong word.” He sipped his coffee, adding another sugar cube. “I really prefer um…”

“Yeah,” Leo grinned. “We have that effect on people.”

“I'm the new guy. It is really important to Sam that everyone like me so I think we’re both a little nervous.”

“I like you.” The President replied.

“Thank you sir. It is a unique situation and I think we can all appreciate that. As Sam I get closer…” Sean stopped, looking as if he might start again. “Nevermind.”

“What?” Leo asked. He did not like being the last to know. It made his job more difficult.

Sean clammed up though. Yes, the invitation to Manchester was a lovely gesture and he was eager to get to know better the people Sam loved most. Still, his personal life was not something he felt they should be privy to. He had an open-door policy with so few people. It was something people should earn, not have bestowed upon them, no matter who they were. That included the President of the United States.

“I should probably get back to my room. If I'm not there when Sam wakes up, he is going to worry.” Sean stood. “May I take my coffee with me?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you Mr. President. Excuse me.”

With the flurry of activity on that second day in Manchester, Sean would later appreciate those moments of quiet. Sam was still deep in dreams when he returned from the kitchen but he came around. He woke with a smile when he saw Sean sitting in a chair holding a mug to his lips.

“Morning. Are you going to share what's in that cup?”

“Its all gone.” Sean put the mug on the table, moving toward the bed. “How about a kiss instead?”

“Mmm, yeah.”

Sam held out his arms and soon the lovers embraced. Sean gave him a soft morning kiss.

“Good morning baby.”

“Did you sleep alright?” Sam asked, running his fingers through Sean’s hair.

“Better than I usually do in a new place. Having you next to me helped.”

“Me?”

Sean laughed a bit, kissing him again. Sam was so cute in the morning and told him so. He tucked his head in under Sean’s chin.

“We don’t need to get out of this bed for hours.” Sam whispered.

“I know.”

Sean was apprehensive about any kind of intimacy. That had nothing to do with Sam…the idea of four days in bed with the Deputy White House Communications Director was an intriguing one. They were not alone though and having to make love in hushed tones was not appealing. They were in the back room with their own bathroom; at least there was some privacy. Perhaps Sunday or Monday but not today. Sean already listened for every creak; afraid spies were about.

He pulled Sam closer, sighing as Sam curled around him. An hour or so more of this would be quite nice.

***

Everyone slept in for the first Saturday in years. They stumbled and bumbled until Abbey Bartlet called them to a lovely outside breakfast. Sitting around a long picnic table, it reminded Sean of his own family. They talked and laughed while large platters of eggs, sausage, bacon, potatoes, and biscuits made their way around. Sam sat Sean between Donna and Charlie and he sat across from him.

For a while, Sean and Charlie talked about prospects for the upcoming NBA season. When Josh jumped in, Sean tiptoed out. CJ finally made her way over to the table, carrying a baby monitor. She sat next to her husband.

“Is he alright?” Leo asked.

“Mmm hmm. He’s sound asleep but I want to watch over him.”

“Your son is beautiful.” Sean said. “A real looker.”

“Thank you. He is calm for me when things go a little crazy.”

“Or a lot crazy.” Leo added.

“I understand. I used to spend more time with my nieces and nephews before work came first. I miss that.”

“Have you ever consider having kids, Sean?” Donna asked.

To him it seemed as if everything stopped. The whole table looked to him for an answer to a harmless question. He stole a glance at Sam, putting jam on his biscuit and wearing an adorable smile.

“Yes, but I am really busy right now. I’ll be even more so when I start moving into my new house. I'm not getting any younger though, soon I will have to prioritize.”

CJ nodded, understanding fully. She too stole a glance at Sam. He was unable to hide the affection he felt for Sean…it surrounded him like an aura. Speaking of priority, they were going to have to sit down and talk again. She really hated that part of her job but the relationship was clearly becoming serious. He did not deserve to live his life like a dirty secret but as White House Press Secretary, she had to make herself a part of his personal life right now.

***

“We’re playing volleyball.” Nora came out on the side porch to find Sam and Sean sitting on the swing. They put some distance between them. “You guys in?”

“Yeah.” Sean stood.

“I'm the captain of one team. Lyman’s got the other…I'm going to kick his ass.”

“What's on the table?” Sam asked, thinking it ironic that Nora was smoking a cigarette while contemplating her victory.

“Losing captain does 50 pushups and buys the winner a case of beer.”

Everyone hung out on the lawn by the volleyball net. The Secret Service was there too; it looked to be a shift change. Sean found himself fascinated with the agents who kept the President, his family, and those around him protected. Upon his arrival on Friday, he was introduced to Ron Butterfield, head of the Presidential detail. He also met Bill Grayson, who would be looking after CJ and baby Timothy. It seemed strange to him that everyone walked around normal while men and women had guns. He did not think he would ever be used to that.

“Lets get it started!” Josh exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet and pumping his fists.

“I pick Sean.” Nora said.

“Charlie.” Josh countered.

“CJ.”

“Sam.”

“Donna.”

“Toby.”

“Zoey.”

“Annie.”

Annie Westin, visiting her grandparents for the holiday, jumped up and down when she was picked. She licked her tongue out at her best friend Dale Prescott. She joined Nora’s team.

“Just because you're last Dale does not mean we don’t believe in you.” Nora said, patting her shoulder.

“Good, because she's on the school volleyball team.” Annie said.

“No fair!” Josh shouted. “She's a ringer!”

“I am not! Shut up Josh!”

“You cannot have five players and a ringer.” Josh said in a matter of fact tone. “If Dale stays on your team, I want one of your players.”

“Oh c'mon Josh.” Nora rolled her eyes.

“In the interest of fairness.” Charlie chimed in.

“Thank you my friend.”

Doug Westin walked up and saved the day.

“Is there room for one more?” he asked.

“You're on Josh’s team.” Nora replied, barely containing her laughter.

Bartlet’s son-in-law smiled, shaking Josh’s hand.

“First team to get to 15 wins.” Josh said, telling his team to get to certain positions. “We are all friends here…lovers will kiss and make up after the take down.” he patted Sam’s back.

“Prepare to go down, Seaborn.” Sean said.

“We’ll see about that.”

It was a warm day and the sun beat down on the volleyball players. Josh was quite competitive; he hated to lose. Nora was no better. There was lots of screaming, grunting, swearing, and mad dashes for the ball. CJ proved to be too much for Charlie; her long arm spiked the ball on him several times. Donna turned out to be a hell of a server. Sean’s all-around athleticism, Zoey’s passing skills, and Dale the ringer helped Nora’s team win 15 to 12. 

The Deputy White House Chief of Staff did his pushups like a man. It was not easy. Fifty was his number and the whole time he had to watch Sam sand Sean goofing off just a few feet away. Sam was using his tee shirt to wipe his face. Sean flipped it over his head.

“Cut it out.” Sam said, pulling the shirt down.

“Or what?” Sean asked.

“This!”

Sam jumped on his back. Sean gasped between soon he was jogging around the lawn with Sam riding him. They were both laughing as Sean went up the steps and deposited Sam on the banister. Sam kissed him. It surprised him when his lover’s cheeks colored and he stepped back.

“Sean?”

“No, its OK. You just caught me off guard.”

“Kissing you caught you off guard.” He looped his fingers into the belt loops of Sean’s khaki shorts and pulled him close. Sean didn’t fight it though he kept his hands behind him. “C'mere. You don’t have to be afraid to show affection here. Everyone is a friend.”

“Its not that.”

“Its not that?”

“Sam, you know I can't stand when you mock me in question form.”

“I am not mocking you, honey bunny.” He pulled him closer. “I'm going to kiss you.”

“Sam…Sam…do not kiss me to make a point. Samuel Norman Sea…”

“Shut up. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Sean surrendered to the kiss. It was not sloppy or over the top, just sweet and passionate. He heard someone say ‘get a room’ and a bit of laughter but the tone made it clear, it was said in jest. As they pulled apart, Josh was coming up the steps. He was rolling his shoulders, shaking off the pain of the pushups.

“I have some Motrin in my room if you want.” Sam said.

“Nah, I'm fine. I will drink it off, since I'm paying for the beer anyway. Yeah, so um…later.”

***

Sean took a walk after dinner. Sam was playing Scrabble but offered to go with him.

“No, its fine. You play.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Enjoy yourself; I’ll be back soon.”

He walked around the vast grounds, again seeing various Secret Service agents doing what they do. He didn’t speak to them; did not want to distract them from their important job. Sean made his way over to the lake, liking the warm wind that came off the water. There were a couple of canoes and rafts on the edge, along with some inner tubes.

“Hey.”

Sean turned around and looked at Josh.

“Hi.”

“Do you row?” Josh asked.

“Sometimes. I'm more of a sailor. My dad has a great boat; we take it out on the water whenever I'm home.”

“I know from experience that can't be often.”

“Its not. I probably would’ve gone home to see them this weekend but…”

“You got stuck with us.” Josh replied.

“I don’t look at it that way. When I'm with Sam, I'm happy. My parents know that. I will see them over Thanksgiving. Do you see your parents often?”

“My mother moved to Florida a few years after my father died. I really hate Florida.”

“How can you hate Disney World and nude beaches? And you call yourself American, Josh Lyman.”

“Yeah.” Josh moved a bit closer. “So, um…”

“What?”

“You and Sam are very close.”

“I'm not comfortable discussing my relationship with Sam with you. You are his best friend and though he has never felt the need to go into detail, I know that you two were lovers once.”

“I'm dating Amy Gardner.”

That was hardly true. While they had never had the agonizing breakup conversation, the couple had essentially been breaking up since that first kiss on his steps. That kiss ended his relationship with Sam.

“I know.” Sean replied. “She’s a nice woman.”

“Sometimes.” Josh smirked.

“Yeah, I understand that. I don’t want the two of us to hate each other for no reason, Josh. There is enough of that in DC. Sam cares about you and I know he wants us to be friends.”

“I am not easy to get to know.” Josh replied.

“Ditto. I don’t need to be your best friend. All that matters to me is that Sam is comfortable when we are all in the same room together. I have no intention of halting my affections because it might make anyone uncomfortable.”

The Deputy said nothing and for a while, they just stood out there. Sean bent down, picked up a few rocks, and skipped them along the water. There was so much Josh wanted to say but he didn’t know the words. He knew that he and Sean would have to come to some understanding if he ever hoped for he and Sam to be what they once were.

“Don’t worry about me.” Sean said.

“Huh?”

“I don’t want to stand in the way of your friendship with Sam. Its important to him and that makes it important to me. I love Sam very much.”

“Its important to me too.”

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes I'm jealous of you.” Josh mumbled.

“Yeah. You gotta work on that.”

Sean turned and started heading back to the house. Maybe one day he and Josh would have a better conversation. It wasn’t going to be tonight. Abbey Bartlet said something about key lime pie earlier…maybe there was still a slice for him.

***

“Hey you.” 

Sean smiled when the shower door came open and Sam stepped in. He took the soap from the dish, lathering his hands before running them across Sean’s shoulders. His lover sighed as Sam’s hands moved down his chest and then across his belly.

“Mmm, baby.”

“It was a long day.” Sam whispered. “You feel a little tense.”

“Uh uh…no tension.”

“There might be just a little. I can do something special for you.”

“Oh I know you can.”

Sam turned him around, wrapping his arms around Sean’s neck. Their kisses were hot and Sean moaned as their sinewy bodies, wet from the shower, rubbed together.

“I want to do something so dirty to you.” Sam said, taking Sean’s earlobe between his teeth.

“I find the shower to be an appropriate place.”

Sam gave him a devilish grin. He pushed Sean against the wall and got down on his knees. He knew what his man liked. He liked to be licked and nibbled, stroked and squeezed. He loved to be deep throated. He loved Sam’s thumb to tease his rim, his forefinger and middle finger to probe deep. He loved to grab Sam’s hair by the fistful, whimpering his name as he shuddered and lost control of himself.

“Sam! Sam! Jesus, oh baby, ohhh!”

Sean released with a deep cry, Sam holding by the waist so he wouldn’t fall over.

“Oh God, oh God.”

“You like that?”

Sam was on his feet again, they held tight to each other. Sean kissed him.

“I love you, Sam Seaborn.”

“I love you too. C’mon, lets get out of here before we use up all of the hot water.”

In the bedroom, they cuddled together in one of the bath sheets Sean packed with his luggage. Sam assured him that the Bartlets had towels but he was glad that Sean liked to bring his own. Exhausted, they dozed off in each other’s arms, with the lights still on over their heads. Sam woke a few hours later. He turned everything off before getting under the sheet and pulling Sean close. Sean was too tired to concern himself with them both being naked…he hardly woke.

***

“What are you guys up to?” Donna asked.

It was early Sunday afternoon and a steady rain fell in Manchester. The President, First Lady, Leo, and CJ had just returned from Mass. The McGarrys promptly returned to their room to “put Tim down for a nap”. Toby and Nora had also disappeared. Charlie and Josh decided to let their frustration out on the video game console in the den, with Annie and Dale cheering them on. Donna tried to read but the noise was a bit distracting.

“We’re going antiquing and then off to a nice lunch.” Sam said.

“The President recommended the Covington Bistro.” Sean added.

“Their Salisbury steak melts in your mouth.” Charlie replied.

“That’s what he said.”

“Are you guys going to be doing that?” Josh asked, pressing PAUSE on Street Fighter.

“What?” Sam asked.

Josh waved his finger back and forth. Sam looked down and saw that he and Sean were holding hands.

“We always hold hands.” Sam said. “A reflex, I think.”

“In public?” Josh asked.

“When Sam pouts. I can't resist his pout.”

“I do not pout.” Sam gave Sean a gentle nudge in the ribs.

“What's up guys?” CJ walked into the den.

“They're going antiquing.” Annie said.

“And holding hands while doing it.” Josh looked wide-eyed at CJ.

“We do not have to hold hands in public. I would really appreciate if you did not talk about us as if Sean and I aren’t standing right here.”

Sam took a deep breath and reluctantly let go of Sean’s hand. Saying he needed to start the car, he walked out. Sean felt a bit uncomfortable so he turned to leave too.

“Sean, can we talk for a second?” CJ asked.

“Sure.”

They stepped out of the room and into the hallway.

“Before you say anything CJ, I discourage public displays of affection. And its not because we’re two men, its because I freak out about it. While I love to hold Sam’s hand, I know who his boss is. I won't let anyone use us to hurt President Bartlet. We’re in love though…the dam will break soon.”

“I know. I'm trying to hold my finger in it until after the Election. I'm sorry that it seems as if I have to be privy to every move in your personal life. Its my job to protect the President and the entire Senior Staff.”

“The family.” Sean muttered, not saying anything else. There were so many words on the tip of his tongue but CJ didn’t deserve them.

“Have a great afternoon.” She said. “This is supposed to be a little time off; you both deserve it.”

“Thank you.”

He went out and got into the passenger seat of the borrowed Nissan Maxima. He’d found Laura Branigan on the radio.

“You're angry.”

“No.” Sam shook his head. “OK, yes.”

“I know.”

“Dammit Sean, I just want to spend quality time with you today. I want to look at knick-knacks, desks, and lamps. I want to walk under our big umbrella and eat lunch at a little table. I want to be…”

“In love?”

“Is that selfish?”

“Probably. When you're in love, you tend to be”

“I have to think about the President. I was there, in Miami, when the picture of CJ and Leo came out. You would’ve thought the hell mouth opened. The ensuing mania almost broke them up. How do you think it would be with us?”

“Stop.” Sean put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “This afternoon is only going to be about this afternoon.”

“You cannot tell me that you like this.” Sam said.

“No, I hate it. However, we have to fight one battle at a time. Today we battle antiques.”

“So I'm getting riled up and all it will do is ruin the one afternoon we have together. Nothing would have changed except our moment together would be destroyed.”

“I love when you get passionate, your eyes get dark, and you want to storm out and scream at people.”

“Really?” a smile spread across Sam’s face.

“Mmm hmm. It won't help for lamp shopping though. Kiss.”

Sam kissed him. He started the car and Sean buckled himself in as Sam pulled a U-turn. Neither of them knew how much longer their “secret” would remain such. The stronger their feelings grew, the more they wanted to indulge in them. Hell, if they lived together it would not take someone brilliant to put two and two together and get gay.

Sean was fully prepared to deal with what came but Sam had more to lose. Actually, they were both concerned about Sam’s boss. President Bartlet had put out bigger fires than his Deputy Communications Director being in a relationship with a man. This wasn’t even his fight but they would make it his. They being certain Republicans on the Hill who looked for any reason to call hearings.

No, Sam and Sean would just lay low until the Election. Maybe even through the Inauguration. It wouldn’t be easy but their feelings for each other weren’t going anywhere. These sacrifices early on in their relationship would make everything to come after so much sweeter.

“You do realize we just had a conversation about coming out as a couple?” Sam asked, stopping at a red light.

“In a roundabout way, yes.”

“And we sort of said it was bound to happen and we were going to handle it?”

“Nothing will happen that you're uncomfortable with, Sam.” He stroked Sam’s hand on the console. “That I assure you.”

“Some doors can never be closed again.”

“Some deserve to be flung off the hinges.” Sean replied.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah.” Sam glanced at him while turning into a parking space. “C'mon honey, the best antiques in New England are waiting.”

“I brought the big umbrella.”

They both smiled and got out of the car. This was their afternoon and they would enjoy every moment of it.

***


End file.
